


Mr. BoneZone

by thememelord



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Death, Gundertale AU, One Shot, Other, Sans is a Stripper, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 06:55:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5119232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thememelord/pseuds/thememelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes first meetings are beautiful, something to be cherished and remembered forever. Sometimes you meet the person of your dreams walking at night in a dark park and stargazing. And sometimes you meet a stripper who quite literally, rattles your bones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. BoneZone

It was a Friday afternoon, and you unwilling stumbled into a fucking strip club. There was a skeleton by the door of said strip club and he was reading a "dirty" magazine open to the centerfold. Upon inspection, a plate spaghetti was on the elongated page. The skeleton glanced up to get a read on your age or whatever the fuck bouncers do these days. He was a tall skeleton like... 8 feet tall but you are 9 feet tall so you are automatically better than him. You inspect the skeleton and you happen to glance down to where his water sausage should be and you see a gun, how ever it was covered in a red liquid.  
"Human, are you here to see my brother in the show?" He says. You say nothing  
"I know you are here to see him. I have been told he is the best in the town, though I don't know what it is exactly he does."  
You shrug and thought whatever I haven't been laid in 17 years so why not. The tall skeleton lifts the velvet rope that was blocking your way and let's you in. 

The inside of the building was dark and musty, similar to the other strip clubs you happen to stumble into. A vast array of neon lights and posters cover every single inch of available wall. Each depicting... Well uhh... Well to be frank you had no idea what they were, that one could have been a stack of pancakes but it also could have been anything. Several tables and chairs were set up in a pit, everyone looking equally sticky but it is best not to be curious and question how you got a disease two days later. The stage was on the far right of the building and it was, to be completely honest, sad. It appeared to be constructed out of plywood and quickly painted over with bright neon green paint, vintage 1976. The curtains were torn in some areas and patches with dark cloth in others. In the center of the stage was a tall glossy pole, and it seemed to be the only thing in the whole building that was in decent condition despite the base missing a few screws and rust forming near the top. The whole building was basically a shed that third graders make in their backyards, but with the low lighting and the entertainment, you assumed that no one cared about the impending doom that they would be in if there was a fire or something of equal or greater destruction. 

You stood at the edge of the top walkway, arms folded over the metal barriers. All chairs were taken by greasy old men and some questionable characters, people you would suspect should be at work, but ended up like you. Suddenly, there was a flash of the stage lights and a heavy plume of smoke drifted over the stage. Screams erupted from the crowd in either excitement or downright fear, you really could not tell. At this time you thought it was an excellent idea to leave or face a raging fire and police questioning, but you glance over at the stage to see a figure emerge from the smoke. The screams of many women and some men increased, so much so you thought you went deaf for about 3 minutes. The figure came into full view and to no surprise, it was another skeleton. He was rather short, enough that your friends would always bring it up in casual conversation to much of your annoyance. He was also "big boned" (don't hurt me). He was darning a light blue hoodie, more grey than blue at this point, a dirty white t-shirt, basketball shorts, and worn slippers. He had this odd smile pasted to his face and you noticed that his expression never changed. Something about this skeleton... You could not explain what it was. He was indescribable to say the least and that intrigued you. He walked out to the pole, grabbed it with one hand and began to walk around it, slowly. You watched this for about 15 minutes and began to question if you were missing something, did you have to drink copious amounts of alcohol? Did you have to lose two litres of your blood and be under a trance? Did you have to lick toads? And yet to your confusion, the crowd was eating this up, most screaming their heads off. Just when you thought you would have to endure a 16th minute, the skeleton fell to the ground and lifted a leg up, the slipper slid off his foot and landed on his chest. Soon enough, the crowd was tossing up paper money, with the occasional handful of change thrown onto the stage. He got up off the stage, collected the incoming cash and walked off. You were stunned, to say the least. The elegance, the mystery, the grace. That was art. You didn't quite understand it at first but you saw the light, it all made sense. You had to meet him. You needed to meet him. You scanned the room for someone who worked here and it wasn't long before you found one. It was a tall metal man of sorts, staring begrudgingly at the stage. He was wearing jet black latex and strange pink breast plate. He had the face of that of a celebrity, beautiful and vain, and his slick hair..wait.. Is that hair, isn't he a metal man, wouldn't he have metal hair? Wait, getting sidetracked, now is not the time for you to question if that metal man has metal hair or not. You manage to get his attention and ask where the man who was just on went to.  
"Him?" He stammers, " don't make me laugh, he is nothing compared to the beauty and fantasy such as moi."  
You tell him that you weren't there to listen to him complain. He sighs heavily and points you to a set of curtains. You hastily thank the metal man and rush towards them.

You are filled with anticipation to see your skeleton man. You pull back the curtains to see him sitting upon a dirty couch reading a book. You wanted to say something, anything but the words got stuck in your throat. He glances up after hearing you gag on said words and looked shocked. You both remain you stood in an awkward silence until he spoke up.  
"What the hell are you doing in my room?" You manage to swallow and blurt out a line of obscenities about what you saw earlier. He sat there for a few moments in silence, you grew fearful that he would tell you to leave or insult you. But instead out came a hearty laugh.  
"Thanks kid," he finally says, "it takes a lot of guts to come over and say something like that." A faint blush flushed over your cheeks and you begin to laugh.  
"Ya know kid, if you are up for it I could give you a more 'private' viewing." He wiggles his eyebrows seductively... Wait do skeletons have eyebrows? But that didn't matter because you were getting laid, fuck yeah and by a skeleton no less. He bent you over his filthy couch and took off your pants. You hear this odd snap behind you and you turn to see that he took off his fucking leg, kinky. Without any warning he begins to ram his leg up your ass, you really didn't know what to think about this. Overall it was strange to be boned by a literal bone, you couldn't decide if you liked it or not. Suddenly there was an enormous pain in the side of your head as he swung his thigh bone across your temple. You fall to the floor and blood begins to pool around your head and neck. Your vision begins to fade as you hear a remark that he needed to get a new leg. Shortly after you hear the cock of a gun and he shoots you six times in the back. What sight you had left was stained crimson and your hearing dulled. You could only feel pain but it would be all over soon. You swore this would be the last time you would go to a fucking strip club.

**Author's Note:**

> I spent 3 hours writing this shit, and to be honest it was worth it  
> also this is a joint account now so more terrible fanfics of all your favorites. You are not safe from jokes you will face  
> -Alice  
> -note: Jay the skeleton yiffer wrote the summary-


End file.
